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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Dear United States Military

Oh my god do I ever hate you. Do you know that? It's like the most severe hate ever, and you guys know a thing or two about hate. I mean, you just cannot manage to function can you? I swear, the simplest, most mindless task and you treat it like you are building the pyramids. Your logic, or lack there of is mind numbingly ridiculous, seriously, my mind is actually numb from being confused by you for so long. I swear you’d look at the math problem 2+2 and your answer would be rhinoceros with a fever. If you are reading this right now you don’t even know why I’d be confused by that answer. The confusion portion of my brain is exhausted from trying to deal with you. I would have been better off beating my head with a bowling ball while doing opiates before I even try to understand anything you are doing. Maybe by that point I would have dumbed myself down enough to understand. Have you ever seen a three year old with their favorite toy? They just hit the same button over and over until it no longer makes cool noises, only unintelligible gibberish. Well you are the three year old and the confusion mechanism in my brain is that favorite button. Seriously, I hear that sound in my head sometimes. I was sane eight months ago, but no more. I can’t even make this rant coherent because my brain is certain that there is something wrong with me. It thinks I must be delusional because the facts I’m asking it to process couldn’t possible be correct, but alas they are, and my brain has abandoned me for no reason. Even my seven year old brother hates it and is always blocking your chair HAHA. See you’ve completely killed my last brain cell. That is all.

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C ---The one you don’t acknowledge is married to J

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