I can't remember where I heard this originally, I have a feeling it was a crappy movie or TV show, but a character in it is talking about how if a younger version of himself could see him now he'd be so disappointed. Well I am happy to say it was come to my attention that if a younger version of me could see me now, right now at this very chaotic moment in my life, she would be damn proud.
I spend a lot of time wishing that my life were stable and that I had the answers. I spend a lot of time thinking about some of the awesomeness that is New England that I never even knew was awesome about it before I left (which is saying something because I pretty much always new I lived in the coolest part of the country!!) But then I realize that I would be so disappointed if I was still there. I always wanted to grow up to be the girl who saw the world, and who made decisions on a moments notice. I never once wanted to pass up an opportunity. I wanted to marry too young and pick up and leave at a whim. I wanted to be tied to nothing but my own fancies and desires.
Well as I think back on my childhood fantasies I realize that I am living them. They seemed a lot more romantic from a distance and a lot less scary, but they are mine and I am who I always dreamed I would be. Lately whenever I feel overwhelmed I think about how cool that is and I feel empowered. My future is a giant looming question mark and I'm going to fill it will surprising decisions and amazing adventures!
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