Thoughts, 21 days

Ugh, I'm sleepy, but now that I've started this habit it's impossible to sleep without it. (Which is both good and bad.)I'm going to try to get this out quick and I'll deal with punctuation later.

First of all I love that I am getting over the misplacement of my anger issues with the army. I still have a long way to go and will still avoid the shortest line in Wal-Mart if it means I would have to stand next to someone in uniform, but it's not affecting how I get to know people. Essentially it is still affecting my view of passing strangers, but not affecting my ability to get to know somebody. I have met a few people recently who I genuinely like to have military careers that leave them fulfilled and I am able to see them as decent human begins even good, albeit flawed, people. (But who among us is not flawed?) I have found more peace than I have ever expected to gain and I am so grateful for that lifted burden.

Secondly I have been making peace with a lot of past frustration. This peace stems from an incident, but it's not important to name that incident. Basically I have been realizing that I expect everyone to approach problems with a similiar mind set and skill set as my own. Obviously that's not going to happen. What's more is I've been engaging in the useless practice of giving people advice that I had to learn the hard way. It is the most pointless venture I can imagine. It's like giving a 13 year old a high school diploma and expecting to be able to survive in college. The paper is meaningless without the work it took to earn it.

I'm not saying that people never listen, but a lot of the time I feel like I am giving them extremely valuable information, that they are not mentally ready to use yet because they haven't had the experience to prepare themselves mentally. I am so totally rambling.

Lastly, I'm over my self righteousness about what I did for myself and what I went without. I have realized that everyone is a victim of their circumstance and I shouldn't judge people based on theirs anymore than I would want to be judged based on mine. Actually the one thing I am going to mis about the culture out here is the socioeconomic culture. I feel much more at comfortable and middle class than I ever did or probably will at home. My mind is still going 90 miles an hour but I'm done typing now. Goodnight.