Taking the Scenic Route

Yesterday I wrote (very wittily if I do say so myself) that this blog is about taking the scenic route through life. Since writing it I've been thinking about what it means and why I do it. This post is going to be my ramblings on that topic.

When I wrote that I take the scenic route I meant that I deviate from the prescribed path for success that we get fed so much in middle and high school. I have no problem with that path, except that it is delivered as one- size- fits- all recipe for success. It does not take the individual into account at all, or even describe what it considers to be success. The one thing I am immensely proud of is that I was able to see that the “do well in school, get good grades, do lots of extracurricular activities, go to college, come out four years later super awesome” method was not going to work for me.

I am proud of this because it took self awareness and bravery to be able to understand why this wouldn’t work for me. I was able to understand that I had been going through school on auto-pilot and needed a break to actually experience my life, and I was brave enough to actually do it. I know that sounds stupid, but it was really scary. I could hear all the voices of guidance counselors and principals saying that people who take a break never go back (which is a pet peeve of mine for another day.) I knew I’d go back, I knew I’d finish, but what good would a degree be for me if I still had no idea who I was?

Of course I am giving myself way too much credit here. It’s not like I took a break and sailed around the world. I was married (waaaaay too young I might add,) and I went to live on the other side of the country. If I had it to do again I wouldn’t have been married and I would have taken a solo adventure of some kind. Still, as it was it was a very good decision. I left loose, I learned about myself and I learned what I could and couldn’t control. I took the best job ever, and that I can’t take credit for. That was all God, or luck or fate if you are so inclined. I got to learn how to kick back and have fun. I got to relive a small part of my life that I’d felt I’d missed all while getting paid.

Now I am home, married, and living the college life. I am working and going to school, but for the first time with enough money to take an occasional night or weekend to have fun. I love my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I was rambling through this, but it felt good.

Myspace March 11, 2009

I can't remember where I heard this originally, I have a feeling it was a crappy movie or TV show, but a character in it is talking about how if a younger version of himself could see him now he'd be so disappointed. Well I am happy to say it was come to my attention that if a younger version of me could see me now, right now at this very chaotic moment in my life, she would be damn proud.

I spend a lot of time wishing that my life were stable and that I had the answers. I spend a lot of time thinking about some of the awesomeness that is New England that I never even knew was awesome about it before I left (which is saying something because I pretty much always new I lived in the coolest part of the country!!) But then I realize that I would be so disappointed if I was still there. I always wanted to grow up to be the girl who saw the world, and who made decisions on a moments notice. I never once wanted to pass up an opportunity. I wanted to marry too young and pick up and leave at a whim. I wanted to be tied to nothing but my own fancies and desires.

Well as I think back on my childhood fantasies I realize that I am living them. They seemed a lot more romantic from a distance and a lot less scary, but they are mine and I am who I always dreamed I would be. Lately whenever I feel overwhelmed I think about how cool that is and I feel empowered. My future is a giant looming question mark and I'm going to fill it will surprising decisions and amazing adventures!